Text and tips: Elisabeth Kwauka, coaching praxis   It’s December: Christmas parties, baking cookies, DIY advent calendars… and you’re still sitting at the kitchen table at 11 p.m. If Christmas feels more like stress than peace, you’re not alone. In this article, you’ll learn how real self-care stops being just another item on your to-do list and becomes an inner compass. A guiding principle that softens guilt, strengthens boundaries, and makes the holidays feel more aligned with your values.   What Does Real Self-Care Mean? Real self-care isn't a quick fix like chocolate or a massage. It's an ongoing, internal process: Setting boundaries Practicing self-compassion Aligning your life with your personal values It doesn’t always feel good right away. It requires difficult decisions and honest work on yourself. But, long term, these practices protect you from burnout. When combined with small rituals, such as breath exercises with the Strength Oil Roll-On or Pillow Spray, they can become something you can count on in difficult moments.   How Products Become Anchors of Your Self-Care When you take your feel-good oil into your hands, let it become your signal:“Now I set a boundary. Now I return to myself.” The products you use are tools that help you consciously pause, set boundaries, and cultivate a stronger inner attitude.   The 3 Principles of Real Self-Care   1. Set Boundaries and Let Go of Guilt Real self-care is an act of decision-making. Especially during the holiday season, saying no is the most important discipline. It’s completely normal for guilt to show up in these moments. The goal is not to suppress it, but to reduce its influence. These strategies can support you: Strategy #1: The Power of Inner Distance When guilt overwhelms you, don’t push it away. Observe it and tell yourself:“Ah, my mind is telling me again that I’m a bad mom because I’m not baking cookies from scratch.” This small phrase, “My mind is telling me…”—creates distance.You are not the feeling. You are the observer. And that takes away its power. Strategy #2: The Power of Pause When someone asks you for something, take a breath before you answer. Remember: you always have three options: Say yes Say no Negotiate Negotiation is often the golden middle ground: “I won’t bake cookies this year, but I’ll bring some from the bakery.” “I can stay for two hours, and during that time I’ll be present instead of stressed.” Tip: Combine the pause with a ritual, such as applying your Strength Oil Roll-On. This creates a conscious anchor.   2. Practice Self-Compassion Stop beating yourself up internally and start speaking to yourself with kindness. For example, while applying your Recovery Oil, tell yourself:“I’m allowed to be exhausted. Not everything has to be perfect, and that’s okay. I’m doing my best, and my body supports me. I am grateful for this.”   3. Live in Alignment With Your Values Self-care means coming home to yourself and doing what feels truly right for you. Examples of values and how to live them: Connection: Simple meals with conversations instead of a perfectly curated celebration Rest: Ending the day early, calm atmosphere, fewer obligations Freedom: A minimalist holiday and space for spontaneity Health: Sleep, nourishing meals, movement, and exercise You live according to your values when your inner world and your outer actions match. That’s where a sense of coherence and natural stress-relief arises.   Your Compass for Christmas: Values Instead of Perfection Real self-care isn't a to-do list; it's an attitude. Life circumstances change: another pregnancy, a baby, or a new job. You will have to adjust your principles again and again. What matters is that you allow yourself to tune in and ask:What do I need right now? Examples for daily life: Instead of perfection: What matters? If your value is family, then time together is more important than a perfectly tidy home. Instead of people-pleasing: Pause, breathe, and check in with what you want. Set your boundaries. Instead of guilt: Tell your mind: “Thank you, I hear you, and I’m choosing a break anyway.”   You Are Enough Exactly As You Are Simply carrying these principles in your heart already means you are doing enough. Allow drinking tea, applying oil on your body, or taking a bath to become a conscious act of self-respect. Not an escape, but a source of strength. “To free ourselves from the expectations of others, to give ourselves back to ourselves - there lies the great, singular power of self-respect.”— Joan Didion   May your holiday season be filled with self-respect, loving boundaries, and moments in which your inner and outer world feel aligned! ____ About the author:Elisabeth Kwauka is a coach for inner child work and a psychotherapist in training. She helps parents recognize old patterns and conditioning, develop self-compassion, and make everyday family life more relaxed.